“You were totally right! I needed this!” I half-shouted at Lance against the pumping house music inside the club.
“I’m too polite to say I-told-you-so,” he replied with a grin, sipping his pink cosmo.
“No, you’re not!”
He laughed. “You’re right! I told you so!”
It had been the perfect thing to do tonight. After dealing with Will the evening before, I needed to let loose, and Lance—always open and always himself—was the perfect person to be around. With him, there weren’t any hidden emotions or motivations or skeletons in his closet. Hell, no. Once he was out of the closet he never looked back and never held anything in.
Maybe that made him sound a bit crazy—maybe he was. But he was genuine, always himself, and he was a damn loyal friend. And he could dance like a motherfucker! I laughed and watched him sway his hips and throw his arms up, totally absorbed by the music and the epitome of ‘dance like no one’s watching’.
Damn, how I needed this! I plucked my drink from a side table to take a sip, then chased it with water (I knew if I didn’t rehydrate I was going to regret it, the drinks at Ross’ were strong). I grabbed his hips playfully to move against him, and he grinned. We danced a few songs together, luring others on the dance floor between us, before pulling away to take a breather.
Without asking, we both headed for the back door to the porch to douse ourselves in the cool air.
“Whew!” I sighed, wiping the sweat off my face. “It’s been too long! I forgot how damn hot it gets in there.”
“You can always take your shirt off,” he said with a wink, before fishing his cigarettes from his pocket.
“I can’t believe you still smoke!”
“I can’t believe you haven’t brought Will up even once yet,” he smirked as he lit the cig and puffed out a cloud. “Aren’t you guys living together?”
He knew damn well we weren’t. “Ha. Ha. You’re so funny.”
Chuckling, he shrugged. “Trouble in paradise?”
“We’re not even dating.”
“So says the guy who waits around to kiss his honey welcome home.”
I rolled my eyes. I never should’ve told Lance that Will had given me his key. Or that I went over there more often than I should. Or that we’d kiss occasionally.
Folding my arms, I leaned against the cold brick of the building behind me. “Still doesn’t mean we’re dating. Do I have to go through the whole thing about him still being hung up on his ex?”
“No! You gave me more than enough details on the drive here.” He softened his words with a smile. “But I know when you are gone on someone. Why else would his ex matter to you?”
“Because even as just his friend, I’m concerned that he’s carrying too much baggage about the past.”
“Not your job to fix him, though.”
“I can worry. I can want to help.”
Lance just shrugged and inhaled more smoke. “What do you really want to happen with him, Cass?”
I knew that tone, he wasn’t going to let this go. Even here, at the back of a Boys Town club where most of the other patrons were in dark corners making out or openly groping each other.
“I don’t know.”
I sighed. “I can’t have what I want. He’s not ready and I don’t know if he ever will be.”
“Does that mean you’ve laid your cards out on the table and he told you to fold? Or are you still keeping them against your chest?”
I smirked. “Your poker metaphors suck.”
“You know what I mean, smartass!”
“I haven’t been that direct…but he knows.”
“Be direct and then tell me what he does.”
“Lance,” I said, shaking my head.
“Cass.” He stubbed out his cigarette. “Come on, more dancing!”
That sounded fine to me—much preferred over talking about Will. A Lady Gaga song came on and Lance lit up like a Christmas tree. “Gotta dance on a platform for my Lady!”
I snorted, which was lost in the pumping bass of the music, and let Lance tug me up onto the packed platform. We gripped each other and laughed as we played up our ridiculous sexy dancing. Someone tried to get up onto the platform near us and I accidentally tipped him back.
“Ah! Sorry, man! Let me help you.” I took his hand and helped pull him onto the already crowded platform. My eyes glanced out over the gyrating bodies below and guys at the bar. Then my jaw dropped.
“Holy shit. I don’t believe it.”
“What?” Lance asked.
“Who? Heath Ledger? ‘Cause otherwise don’t stop dancing!”
“No way!” Lance started turning his head like a lifeguard scanning a beach. “Where? I want to see this prince of yours.”
“I’m mad at him, remember?”
“Uh-huh. So which one is he?”
“At the bar. Plaid shirt.”
Lance looked like he’d eaten something rotten. “Plaid? Seriously? In Boys Town?”
“He doesn’t wear it a lot, ok? And what does that matter?” I retorted.
Lance knew better. “Means he didn’t come to dance, which sucks.” Then his eyes lit up, as he grabbed me by the waist. “Let’s see if we can lure him out!”
“You have to tell him.”
“I know.” TJ wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t already screamed at myself a hundred times. “He ran out the door, I didn’t have a chance.”
I didn’t mention that I had handled it all wrong. Yesterday had, quite literally, been a shit day, and then I’d had to add to it to make it truly craptacular.
“I don’t know why you waited so long. I told you it was only going to get harder.”
“TJ, you are not helping,” I said in an act of iron-willed restraint, when I really wanted to tell him to take his obvious advice and shove it up his--
“I’m sorry. I don’t like to see you, or Cass, hurting.” He patted my shoulder. “And I just get pissed when everyone doesn’t realize I’m right in the first place.”
He was teasing now, knowing it would make me smile, which I reluctantly did.
“I think I scared him too.” I spread my hands. “Telling him about the Society offer, and about how I used to live my life—basically saying if I take this opportunity then he has to come in second. I wanted to discuss it with him, dammit. I just…”
“It was a bad day. It happens.”
I expelled a long breath. “Yeah. What do I do now?”
“Tell him. Everything.”
“I will, tonight.”
But it hadn’t worked out that way. For starters, I couldn’t get a hold of Cass. The kid didn’t answer his phone and it wasn’t as if I could stop by where he lived to see if he was home. So I made my own plans.
I was restless and tired of thinking, so I drove into the city. I needed a night off, a night out of the region. Thankfully a buddy of mine was free, so we were able to meet up for drinks—even if it was in a loud, overcrowded club filled with twinks.
Not that I minded a little eye candy, but I hated having to shout over loud music. Still, it felt good to be out.
“How long’s it been?” Tony asked as our beers were set in front of us. How he’d managed to score stools at the bar I didn’t know—and knew better than to ask.
“Too long!” I said with a grin, taking a long draw of the lager.
“I heard you moved back, but then I still didn’t see you around.”
“Moved back to northwest Indiana to be with my sister, who had a kid…unexpectedly.”
“Ahh.” His brows rose and he gave a nod. Tony was a good guy, but he was a partier and after his family disowned him as a teen, he never looked back. Finding a good partner probably would’ve done him good after so many years alone, but he’d had no luck. Maybe it was because he spent his time in joints like this, scoping for twinks.
“So you came back from globe trekking to play house?”
I snorted. “I have my own place and my own plans, but shit man, she needs some help.”
He nodded and drank, and I changed the subject. It became clear very quickly, however, that this wasn’t my scene—if it ever had been. I wasn’t exactly a homebody, but the lights and bass and chaos just…didn’t do it for me. And visions of where I’d rather be kept plaguing me.
When had been the last time I’d really spent time with my camera? Fuck. It used to be that I didn’t feel whole unless I took some kind of shots every damn day. With all the craziness with Katie, it just hadn’t happened. In months. No wonder I was cranky.
Then, of course, there was Cass. I’d never wanted to do portraits before, but wanted to capture him on film sometime. Since I’d met him, things had been easier. Life had flowed a little better, I’d breathed a little easier. Until I started feeling trapped. Not by him, really, but by the situation.
I took a long drag on my drink, reminding myself that I’d come out to forget about all that.
“You’re missing the show,” Tony whispered/yelled in my ear over the music.
He pointed out toward the dance floor, which was in full view from our seats. It was boxed in with bodies, half of them with their shirts off. I had to admit, it was a pretty spectacular display. There were also platforms bordering the floor that were packed with sweaty, proud dancers.
“Not bad, eh?” Tony chuckled. “I’ve got my eye on…that one.” He pointed to a flamboyant, lanky otter on one of the platforms, grinding away with a very nice looking, muscular—“Oh, hell.”
“See something you like, huh?”
My mouth opened, but I couldn’t form words. I didn’t know what blindsided me more, that Cass was out partying it up, or that some other guy was fucking partying up on his body.
The song changed and I watched as Cass hopped down and then helped the little shit with him to follow.
“I’ll be back,” I tossed to Tony, practically jumping off my stool.
So, apparently Cass was so heart-broken about our argument that he found someone the next damn night to ease his pain? I was not letting them slip off together. Fuck that.
As I wiggled through the mass of bodies, my rational mind tugged at my anger. You’re not together, remember? I unclenched my fists and tried to think as I caught sight of him. Unfortunately all thought flew from me as I took in his tight jeans, tighter shirt, and flushed face. God, I wanted to eat him alive.
Our eyes met and I was at a loss for words. I could see the my heat reflected in his eyes, but there was uncertainty too. We hadn’t left things well the night before and I knew he must have a ton of questions—and I owed him a hell of a lot of answers. But just then, away from normal life and daily demands, I knew we wanted the same thing: to be in this moment and enjoy it to the fullest, together.
Bodies bounced around us and we started getting dirty looks as we stood stalled in place and getting in the way of their grinding. Then the damn otter showed up next to us. The bastard grinned at me and slipped an arm around Cass’ waist. He closed the distance between us. “You gonna gawk at us or dance?” As he spoke, he moved behind Cass and caressed his hands over his hips as he set their bodies moving to the deep, bass beat. I could feel my blood rise at the sight of any hands other than my own touching Cass, and if I’d had a clear shot to his face I would’ve been tempted to punch his damn lights out. How dare this guy touch Cass that way! And how dare Cass just stand there and let him?
Without conscious thought I stepped into Cass’ space and pressed up against him. I couldn’t not touch him. Hell, it was all I could do not to yank him out of the club that second and find somewhere close and private to claim him in every way I hadn’t yet allowed myself before.
Cass slipped his arms about my neck and my vision narrowed down to only him. I tugged him closer by his belt loops. In seconds our bodies molded tight and perfect into one another,
Good god, it was amazing. Cass’ arms kept me close as he sucked in his breath. We’d worked so hard for so long to keep things light between us that it was only now, in this moment, that we truly acknowledged the attraction between us. And fuck if it wasn’t like opening a floodgate.
Had I been mad before? I couldn’t remember anything other than the way Cass was moving under my hands. Looking over his shoulder, I saw that the other kid had disappeared. Good.
I wasn’t holding back anymore. Screw moving slow. Screw trying to act like there wasn’t something strong and real and electric between us. Cass felt like heaven. I was through denying myself this.
He looked up at me with glassy eyes and moved to straddle one of my thighs, grinding into me. Hard. My hands found their way under his shirt, gliding up his ribs as we humped on the dance floor. I felt him groan more than heard it, and he leaned back, letting my arms take his weight as he bent his head back and practically presented himself to me. He was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.
I swayed his body, digging my fingers about his hipbones to steady him as his head nearly reached the floor. Then he righted himself and I had to briefly release him to force a few buttons open on my shirt. What had I been thinking wearing fucking flannel? Though I could hardly regret it, as Cass shoved my hands away and made quick work of the rest of the buttons, then let his hands rove. Hot fingertips brushed up my chest before his arms wrapped around my waist and he brought us flush against one another, groin to shoulder. I could feel his heavy breathing. Our eyes locked, and I knew if I didn’t taste him right then I was going to lose my mind.
With the music vibrating through me like a live wire, I leaned down, fascinated by Cass’ full, parted lips.
“Hey, Cass! You forgot your drink! Oh—Sorry!”
That damn otter! My only consolation at being interrupted was the death glare Cass gave the guy as he snatched his drink from him. “Thanks,” Cass said with heavy sarcasm. “You can go now.”
Rather than looking chastised, the other kid was amused. Cass must have felt the growl rumbling through my throat, as he patted my chest the way one humors an over-protective dog.
“Introduce me and I will,” the otter said, undeterred. Cass rolled his eyes and nodded at him, eyes on me. “Will this is Lance. Lance, Will.”
“Good to put a body to the face—I mean, a face to the name,” Lance said, his “mistake” anything but.
“Oh, come on,” Lance said chuckling. “I’m harmless.” He eyed us and then added, “By the way, don’t forget, you were going to drive us home.”
Us? There was an “us” with them? I growled again and Cass rubbed my back indulgently. Then he smirked, “Unlike myself, you live in the city. You can cab it.”
“And leave my car here?”
Cass shrugged, looking unrepentant. I didn’t mind their banter, as I still held Cass’ hips pressed against me. I could’ve stood there half the night. The other half I could think of a few other things to do, though…
“Or you could have someone else drive you or stay the night at their place,” Cass offered Lance with a knowing grin.
“No. That was one time.”
“And us coming here has nothing to do with the fact that it’s one of Dain’s favorite haunts.”
It was Lance’s turn to roll his eyes. “Don’t be a bitch, Cassidy.”
“Ugh, don’t call me Cassidy!”
“Fine, I’ll go,” he said, pointing a finger, “but you owe me.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Cass muttered. Lance kissed him on the cheek and a dark spike of anger shot through me.
“Now get back to your boy, er, man,” Lance quipped. “He looks about ready to bite a head off before mating.”
Before Cass could get in another word, Lance slipped away through the crowd.
“Let’s get some air,” Cass said. Taking my hand, he pulled me outside.